We are grateful for the opportunity to pen this open letter to you. We participated in the Parent Boot Camp in December, 2004.

To truly convey the impact this therapeutic intensive had on our family, it would be best to first share with you what brought us to Florida for the Parent Boot Camp from our home in Northern California.

In a word, it was quite literally desperation. Our family is composed of two birth children ages 6 and 9 and two adopted children ages 10 and 12. Our adopted children are siblings and came to us at ages 5 and 6, although they came to us almost three years apart. Our son (now 12) came to us at age five with an abundance of documented abuse and neglect in his wake. He was born tox positive and had severe emotional issues that put the health and safety of other family members at risk. At age 10 he entered residential treatment for 18 months in a final, desperate attempt to get him (and us) help.

Diagnoses included: Reactive Attachment Disorder, Generalized Anxiety, Post Traumatic Stress Disorder, Oppositional Defiant Disorder, Mood Disorder, Bipolar Disorder, along with various forms of ADD. If we were to give a ballpark figure as to how much money went towards therapy, treatment, and related expenses it would be well over the $100,000 mark.

Therapeutic interventions included play therapy, narrative therapy, EMDR, attachment therapy, family therapy, psychotropic medications, SPECT brain scans and home schooling, along with the full implementation of “take back the control” attachment models that included 100% line-of-sight supervision, alarms on doors, etc. Everything we tried seemed like a failed experiment at best that left us no better off than when we began.

Ronda quit her job to take care of our emotionally draining children. Our general health suffered, along with loss of feelings of joy and well being. We had lost all hope that our situation could or would change. When we were faced with the choice of bringing our son home from residential treatment or finding a permanent long term care for him, my husband found out about Dr. Post and the Post Institute.

We jumped in feet-first (so to speak) at the Parent Boot Camp. We learned (and experienced) for the first time that the true underpinnings of our children’s behavior (and our stress) were trauma and fear. These two paralyzing co-creators of mayhem had destroyed our children’s ability to relate to others, define their own needs, seek comfort, and move beyond their severe abuse and neglect. After SEVEN YEARS in our home, our son was still paralyzed by his fear and my daughter was literally fighting for her very survival. We can honestly say that the Parenting Boot Camp is the Adoption Orientation we wish we could have had before we ever brought children into our home.

Through the experiential workshop Bryan provided, we finally “got it”. Not only were we for the first time able to understand our children, but we were able to understand ourselves and one another on a whole new level. Parenting these children was traumatizing and magnified pre-existing stressors in our lives and relationships to new extremes. Also, being the non-adopted siblings of these children (and the children of stressed-out parents) had also further traumatized all of our kids. We needed a newunderstanding to change the way we engaged all our children and we needed healing to stamp out the fear that was so pervasive in our children and our relationships with them.

Since our return home, things are very good. We have to work at it every day, but no one in the family is on any psychotropic medication and our one-on-one interactions are regularly warm and positive. Our oldest son is now living at home permanently and after failing fifth grade, he graduated from sixth grade with honors. He spontaneously smiles and last week, was thankful for the Slurpee brought to him at his soccer game. Our oldest daughter attended sleep away camp and spent most of her candy money on a phone card just so she could call home…she actually missed us! …and the other kids feel calmer and safer in this new “gentler” atmosphere.

The work that we did with Bryan and his team gave us as parents the ability to better understand all our children, to relate to their experiences, and connect with them like never before. We feel joy and hope for the first time in seven years, and a confidence that “we can do it!” What we learned from Bryan is understandable, makes sense, and it really works.

When seeking help for your family, don’t make this your last resort (like we did), make it your first. It will truly change your life, and the lives of your children … and God willing, future generations in your family. You can’t afford not to invest the time in this endeavor. Go For IT!! You truly do have everything to lose. Don’t let this opportunity slip by. You won’t regret it!

With deep gratitude and encouragement,
Bill & Ronda Evans
Chico, California
(P.S. It has now been 5 years since our camp experience and our son continues to thrive academically, socially, and emotionally!)

Our Child has had an absolutely incredible miracle happen in his life! Before he went through Dr. Bryan Post’s program, he was on several medications for diagnosed mental illnesses. It was being recommended that our child be placed in a mental institution for at least a year or two because he was so out of control and nothing was helping. The school was threatening to send him to an alternative school. He was constantly lying, cheating, stealing and trying to hurt his younger brother. We even had to lock up items that we use on a daily basis, i.e.: kitchen knives, scissors, razors, etc., so that he wouldn’t be able to hurt himself or his younger brother. Life was completely impossible! We knew that our child had severe problems due to being sexually abused in his younger years. We just weren’t able to help him. He was seeing both a psychologist and a psychiatrist. Conventional therapy just wasn’t helping and he had been seeing them for several years. We even worked with Dr. Phil before he became Dr. Phil! We were desperate.

We had our doubts that anything would help. Seeking help through Dr. Post has been the very best thing we could have even imagined. Our child immediately stopped harming himself and his brother, as well as, has not lied, stolen, or cheated since last June of 2004, when we went through Dr. Post’s program! After the boot camp we were even inspired to get our child off of his psychiatric medicines. With the support of our psychiatrist we were able to get our child off of all the drugs he was on and he hasn’t been back on them since. He doesn’t need them. It has been a whole year and not one incident has occurred! It’s absolutely unbelievable! His behavior is excellent! He is a very loving, kind-hearted, gentle child. The work that Dr. Post is doing in these children’s lives is remarkable. He is completely changing their road ahead and giving them an outstanding future for their life. Dr. Post is the best I’ve ever seen and unfortunately I’ve seen a lot!
Sincerely, Allie and Steven
(P.S. 5 years later and our son has blossomed into a wonderful young man. We couldn’t be happier or more proud of him!)

Play therapists, crime victim therapists, psychologists, psychiatrist, family psycho-therapy (which involved us watching our daughters from behind a window with no interaction from “family” unless it was play acting one-on-one), meds, teachers and many others. They all had the “answers” to our then, foster daughters behavior problems, but their meds increased and there wasn’t any healing after three years, just more anger and frustration. After many nights in tears and many prayers said, three days before the adoption of our two RAD daughters, I was invited to attend a camp being held by Bryan Post. “What the heck could he tell me that would be different from the many books I had read and the advice I had received?” I fought the invite, but in the end my adoption caseworker convinced me to go. Oh, my gosh!!!....this was the answer to the prayers I had been sending to the Lord for years. Finally!...someone who could explain the reasons behind the bad behaviors, someone who was not willing to mask the behaviors with meds, someone who believed that following their heart and trusting their gut and to do it from a love based place was the route to take. And like I have always believed, “Do unto others as you would have them do unto you!” What a relief to hear sticker charts and consequences set the child up for more failure. To know what real “family therapy” was all about and how it worked. It finally all made sense! I was able to go into the courtroom that following Monday, with peace, with the knowledge and empowerment as a parent to know that our family was going to make it and we were going to heal.
— Darlene, Biological, Adoptive, and Foster Mom of 6